I talk to myself. Long-time singles tend to do that. It’s not usually a problem because my audience understands me so well. But I have wondered just how strange the transcript from a hidden microphone in my apartment might sound. And recently I have become concerned about the potential downsides of my habit, such as unwitting murder confessions.
The recent HBO documentary series The Jinx: The Life and Deaths of Robert Durst really put the spotlight on muttering. If you missed it (or the many news stories about it), Durst is the black sheep of a billionaire New York clan, suspected of killing his first wife, his best friend, and his one-time landlord. In the series finale Durst wanders into the bathroom after an interview and, unaware that his lapel mic is still recording, begins talking to himself. “You’re caught,” he mutters. “What did you do? Killed them all, of course.”
Here you see the problem. Had there been someone else in the bathroom with Durst, these statements would have been less of an issue. “I was just chatting with my friend, Homicidal Hank,” he could have said. “Nice guy, really—just misunderstood.”
Instead Durst is back in custody, and we who self-chat are suddenly fearful. What incriminating statements might emerge from our daily conversations with ourselves?
Self-talking has its uses. When I catch others doing it the purpose often seems to be either rehearsal and review, a way of organizing one’s thoughts or gauging the impact of recent statements. My own mutterings are often random—song lyrics, nonsense phrases—frequently having little connection with my actual thoughts.
To the best of my recollection I have never bumped anyone off. But in one way I can sympathize with Durst—I’d hate to have sit in a witness box and justify my monologues.
Happily most self-talkers don’t have Durst’s sort of problems. The real crime of which we stand accused is eccentricity. And we incriminate ourselves with every word we speak. Unless of course we lock the doors, pull down the blinds, and check carefully for microphones. It’s good to be able to talk with someone you trust.
Photo by Yoshikazu Takada via Flickr.
